An Exercise in Asphyxiation
[Reposting. I’m not sure how long I’ll give it this time. A night?] I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we talk about sex? I’ve done so before. But only mildly. Let’s ignore all that other bullshit. I’m not talking about a peck on the cheek, or the childish-yet-groin-wrenching finger suck. I’m not talking about making love to your girlfriend missionary twice a month. I’m talking about...
So it’s, like, 4:30am, and I’m a little delirious. Most people probably won’t see this. They’ll be out, or asleep, and by the time they check tumblr tomorrow morning, this post will be lost in the sea of crazy GIFs and photos of Ryan Gosling. I’m pretty empty lately. I’m alone at night. And the night gets all up in my business. I’ve a friend whom...
Among the Geeks
[See also Palace and King] I sometimes think I’m an alcoholic. But, not in the sense you mean. I live by myself now, and I’m single. So sometimes, after a nine-hour day at work, I don’t want to go home. I didn’t plan to go and get drunk at the local. But I wander in, and everyone says ‘hi Brian’ and they ask me what’s been going on, etcetera. But...
I need to vent a whole lot of pent-up rage. It’s just about stupid things and infuriating people on the internet that aren’t actually doing anything wrong. It’s me and my god-damned hyper-sensativity and sense of privledged self-righteousness. I hate it. I don’t know why I feel this way. It’s because I’m lonely all the time, most likely. I get like this...
Nightsong [Part 2]
[Six weeks until I hear back from the assessment service. That means there’s little point in working on my manuscript! Yay! So, in my broedom, I’ve tried to follow on from the short fantasy piece I wrote a few weeks ago. I hope my idea of dark fantasy isn’t too fucked up. Let me know. I may continue it. (Unedited).] He found her in the Whisperwood the following...
Fan Fiction and Me
So, I don’t want to upset anyone, and please, I welcome counter-arguments because I’m speaking from a relative position of ignorance, BUT: I’m not sure if I understand the point. As near as I can tell, fan fiction [FanFic], is when a fan of a series or IP [Buffy, Doctor Who, The Avengers, Star Trek etc], takes it upon themselves to write a short story, [or in some cases, even...
everythingwaswhatever-deactivat asked: <3
Nightsong [Part 1]
[I don’t write fantasy, -my manuscript is set in modern day Melbourne,- but this scene was brewing in my head the last few weeks and I had to write it down. Something about germanic names, or village life or… 16th century peasantry? Vampires maybe? Either way, it’s about thick, inescapable dark. I don’t know.] She couldn’t stop staring at the corpse. It hadn’t...
Don’t tell me it’s ‘forbidden.’ I hate as much as love you. Your touch thrills, but stills me. And in a touch, I’ll tell it true: You send my mind to a pit of fantasy. Where there, my life is whole. You’re the mistress of my imagination. And your heart levies a heavy toll. I write nothing but write for you. And you smile and bequeth naught. Your eyes...
The Girl I Met Last Night
I can’t remember who told me she was blind. It’s probably not that important, in the scheme of things. It just ended up being a study in character, in my own, twisted and perverted sense of politically correct selfishness. Or maybe she really did touch my heart in a profound way. Afterall, I’ve been thinking about her almost all day. I was at a houseparty last night. I don’t go to those much these...
This city is really fucking small. I ran into another internet friend today. Similar to the times I ran into Pixie, it was a small convooluted series of events that landed my feet in the right place at the right time to bring me into contact with a fantastic person. I don’t know, shit like that always makes me smile. I love meeting people. And internet people are the best. Only because...
Galatea In West Egg
In dreams I become awash with a madness I thought I’d locked away. There’s a child that only exists in the undercurrents of my sleeping mind. She’s small, doe-eyed, and her hair shifts from black to brown to black again as my focus shifts it’s angle. I don’t know her face, but I know she is my daughter. My daughter to a women I don’t know, and perhaps never...
'And to be king...'
My meeting today was amazing, for those of you who gave a fuck. Goals are definetly acheivable now. I’ll be taking the next steps to furthering my career in the coming weeks. Don’t want to say much more. However. I want to buy things. Silly things like cards for my Modern Magic deck, the new SuicideGirls book and the new SuicideGirls DVD. And other shit. Meh. Love and Kittens, Brian
Sore arms, sore dreams
I’m laying in bed and my arms are sore and I feel slightly ill and my brain decided I should write some crap on tumblr. You’ll notice that I haven’t posted much on here for a long time. Probably since I moved out of the house I’d been living in in footscray. I feel much more emotionally stable living by myself. I have utter control over my immediate surroundings, and...
So, I filmed this with a hand-held camera the second time I saw Katy Perry live which was, -if I recall correctly-, October of 2010. I’ve seen her three times, but this show was probably my favourite. This was the first time I ever heard the song ‘Peacock’, as it was before the release of her second album. I saw this with my high-school flame, Bri. Watching this stirs memories.
Working on a Synopsis
“-Told through a series of non-linear flashbacks, ‘A Dance for the Dead’ is a mature story, touching on themes of depression, suicide, homosexuality, child abuse and religious persecution. Set against the backdrop of a fantastical Christian-based pantheon, where not all Angels are pure and not all Demons are guilty, it’s a unique twist on the speculative fiction genre.”
So I’m doing my best and belated Javert...
Elevator Shaft - A Short Story About a Death
[This is currently on the floor of my figurative cutting room. I’m not sure if I’ll find a place to put it in. Not enditrely edited.] If I had to divulge, it was grief that gripped me. Grief for the impending death of someone I knew. Not someone I loved, or hated or even was particularly friendly with. I just knew her. Cristina Blackwater was a domino in my life, and as...
I'm still here...
And I hate posting like this, I really do. I’d like to give you somethign itneresting, or at least borderline poetic to read, but I haven’t the energy these past few weeks. For those of you that don’t know, I’ve recently moved house. I’m living alone in Richmond now, in an apartment. I’m one cat and a smoking habit away from being a proper writer. Much...
After Dark Special #27
Nothing in any world dies and just ceases to be. Everything only changes. Only the tide is certain.
mynamesjelly asked: your writings are AMAZING<3 YOU are AMAZING
After Dark Special #26
Those moments in the middle of the night when four walls are too much, your bed is too big, your heart is too empty, your hair is too long, your hurt is too great, your skin is too callused, your soul is too bitter, your hallway’s too long, your life is too narrow, your mind is too wide, your arms are too long, your pockets are too deep. And you want to fall into the ocean. But...
How silly it was of me to think anything else. She wasn’t mine. She never would be. It was a string and a fish, tripping and skipping along the delicate, mithril surface teasing dancing salmon and my own, crushed ego. There was one moment, though. Long ago, now. She was wrapped around me and I could have taken anything and everything from her, but in that instant my fears betrayed my...
[An excerpt from Chapter Five. Something I probably shouldn’t share. It’s unedited.] Darren, the tall, dark and fierce stranger. Darren should have made Harper cry long ago, and Harper knew that. But she’d never shed a tear for him. She didn’t want to start now, or any other day. She curled her legs up under her and felt the front of Ted’s hairy legs against the...
After Dark Special #25
When you wander down the empy, suburban streets on the way home, listening to the voice of a dead-man ringing through a box in your pocket, and dance under the ever-watchful streetlights because they’re the only ones who are there on these lonely nights.
“…A Legend, Mister Wayne.” - Henri Ducard, Batman Begins Batman is important to me. It’s hard to explain why. Not because I don’t really have a reason, but more because it’s hard to put into words. And I know that for those of you who don’t already think I’m a bit of an obsessive nutcase, you should after you finish reading that. Good. I wanted to get that out of the way. You...
Under Locke and Key
To all my newer followers, -or older, lazy ones-, please follow my funblr blog, Under Locke and Key. It’s the blog I treat like everyone else treats theirs, rather than writing and sitting around, wanking in Fitzroy. Love and Kittens, Brian
Home alone. Feeling lonely and depressed because...
Do you ever sit down in the shower? I do. I’vehad this thing, ever since I was young. I like to close my eyes, and imagine that’s warm rain falling on me. A tropical cascade of searing water falling onto me, and if I sit down, and hug my legs to my chest, I can almost imagine it being real. I love water. I love swimming. I’ve got this creepy obsession with the ocean, but I...
After Dark Special #24
That moment in the middle of the night when you feel that the emptiness that radiates from those around you latches onto you like a symbiote. It bites and cuts. And my heart is torn by phantom muses.
Yeah, I know. I’m going to sound like one of those pre-teen females who just got her first copy of ‘Twilight’ for her birthday and all that shit, but I really need to write about this or my chest is going to cave in on itself and I’m just gonna call ‘fuck it’ and go Athiest. I haven’t seen her in over two years. That’s the important part. Two...
Been A While
No, this post isn’t about Batman. You’ll have to wait. This is, -to my shame-, going to be another one of those horrid, frustratingly abhorrent tumblr posts about feelings and angst and depression and all those other things you see clogging your feed every day. A strange thing I’ve noticed about Twitter and Tumblr, -with an emphasis on the later-, is that many of the people who...
It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far...– Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
After Dark Special #23
That moment in the middle of the night when it becomes obvious that the people in your life don’t realise how lonely you actually are.
A Single Kiss
A single kiss, upon a cheek. Given at the right moment, had the world in silence, And the Angels abashed.
Last Night, In My Head
I think everyone has nightmares. You know the type, those dark dreams where you wake up feeling cold and shaken just before the relief washes over you. I don’t have those dreams often. But there is another type of dream which is almost as bad, I think. Those dreams which are so good, you want to stay sleeping forever to find out how much better your life could be. Reality is grounded in these...